Thursday, February 24


photo source: beautyinthegutter

... this post causes a step back with pause & thought searching. it is a question many want to know about adoption.  yet also very personal.  but it is at the forefront of thought.  people are curious by nature.  we all know adoption is not cheap.  heck, it is downright expensive.  but up until now i have hesitated to even post about the totality of expenses involved because i do not like to give power to money.   the paper dollar is not the forefront of adoption, it is only the tangible token to pass go.  and because i do not like to empower the deception of the green bill, i still Must recognize it in adoption.  before continuing, it cannot be stressed enough that for an adoptive parent, adoption is not about money but it is required to proceed.  whether one has '$' or not, adoption is about love. and to be fair, the agencies involved in adoption are not money hungry; not the majority.  they do genuinely want to place children with families.  but there are guidelines, there are fees, there are fees in each direction of the compass.  that is just how the ball rolls.  domestic , international, government, foreign, you name it the fees add up.  i have found myself in anger visualizing a waiting child half way across the world,  turning my eyes to us as the prospective adoptive parents also sitting here waiting,  and in between are - green bills? is it fair? No!  and it has hurt my feelings that this power facade of the coin must be recognized to reach a waiting child . and that bothers me. deeply. hard core bothers me. yet,  learning now to accept this 'unfairness'  has given calm and as quick as those hurtful feelings come- no is the answer!  'don't go there'  comforts my mind and  my focus turns to God knowing He will provide.  money is just the illusion to scare and create doubt.  this is when my Faith rises and i know that God has placed adoption in our hearts for a reason.  it is a path we are to follow. nothing can smother our feelings of Love for our journey.  Faith does conquer the green dollar and trumps doubt.  and that is what keeps us focused.  to sum this up, we have been asked in subtle ways, 'how much will your adoption cost overall'  and today i will answer that question because grace in truth opens doors for peace in Faith.  the cost- 30,000.  do we have that sitting in the bank?  nope, not at all. will we be taking the path of sacrifice , fundraising and Faith to fulfill our path, yes we will. to humble oneself in being open is a good thing.  and being open about this here is a learning experience for i do not enjoy that when we talk about adoption, money has to also be discussed.  it is part of the package.  money may have its palms up hand  in adoption but we have the greater hold of faith.  it makes us appreciate each and every struggle, step forward, step back, and everything in between that takes us toward that goal we reach along the way.  it is the journey that defines and strengthens us, not the destination.
As others have inquired, we will share:
  • our adoption total will be 30,000 +
  • the small fees start in the beginning.
  • the fees grow as the adoption progresses.
  • there are hefty lump sums due to move forward.
  • each fee  must be met to progress onto the waiting list.
  • more fees upon acceptance of referral
  • in country fees
  • travel alone will cost us 10,000.
that was a very basic outline.  there is so much more detail than that but maybe that will help others understand and get some idea of the process. something i have not liked to discuss, is now here written out like a bad sticky note tucked away.  but now i feel moved in my humble validation of how money plays it part in this process.  that sticky note can now cling to the frig in view and no longer receive my growl but my smile.  it no longer is a deterrent but a mirror of our accomplishments . 

others may wonder?  why are you doing this if you don't have 30,000 in the bank.  now lets get real!  the truth of adoption is about 1/2-3/4 of committed prospective adoptive parents do not have that kind of cash.  most adoptions consist of fundraising, refinancing homes, loans, etc.  it is all about sacrifice for the children.  those of us who have to work hard toward paying these fees are parents who are truly in this with the appreciation and humbling grace knowing our efforts will be validated in  form of a sweet little boy. all  the obstacles and patience of our journey to get to him will be shown in the reward of love and grace.

hope. faith. courage. Pictures, Images and Photos 
photo source: xospislovexo

conclusion?  Truth!  money won't get you through adoption
nor anything else. only inner strength will endure and ones Belief
system sustain! money sucks- the good out of Hope and the Truth
out of what is real. within adoption it is not the green dollar, it is
Convictions that get that token to pass Go! now, when  invisioning a
waiting child and then us also waiting, green bills are no longer part of
the in between.   now,  Faith, Love, Hope, Courage, Stength and
Conviction are what are in between the present and the future.
Faith trumps all stinkn thinkn every time  ; )

Wednesday, February 23

toll road

okay, so an addendum to last weeks post. as some unexpected
expenses sprang up we will have to wait a little bit longer to send in our
second agency fee. the positive side is we still did manage to save half of what we
need and put it in savings! in a couple weeks we should be posting an updated
post that we were able to mail in our fee in full ! patience and time is being learned
and taught to myself  in full force. and, i have come to see this is a good
quality to have going forth in the adoption process ; )  it is similar to
pulling up to a toll booth with .50 when you need 1.oo. ; coming back
later waiting for that bar to raise to continue on your path. My husband
 told me just today, ' God is preparing us with patience for our journey with him' , 
and that is exactly what this woman needed to hear. 
- thanks hon! -